Yardstick launch goes KABOOM

We don’t get typhoons down here on the Southern tip of Africa, but Sunday’s weather-tantrum in Stellenbosch was a fairly close approximation of what I imagine it would be like if we did. 

Despite the obvious signs that nature and all her forces were opposed to this meeting of foodies and quaffers, all went ahead as planned. A non-plussed DJ Rene calmly set up his disco in the back of the cellar while the debonair guys from TRUTH coffee manned the prow of their stand like hipster Captain Ahabs. 

It must have been a combination of Pete Tempelhoff’s culinary wizardry and Adam Mason’s generous desire to ply people with his deeply satisfying wines that kept the guests on that long wet road to this unique “coming out” event. 

I think the specific reference to children being welcome also had some kick. Limber kids spilled out of station wagons, saw the piles of hay and, for the rest of the afternoon, stormed them like a castle while their parents milled and bobbed around tables of endless eatables and drinkables.

  

In addition to the boards of cheese and meaty olives, Pete’s team gently kicked us off by walking around with crisp little triangles of prawn and sesame toast cunningly arranged around bamboo bowls of soy-based dipping sauce. After two petite glasses of the Yardstick Chardonnay I was still able to resist the temptation to follow the prawn-toast guy around with a skewer. 

Then came the duck spring rolls. Oh my. Wrapped in soft glass rice paper and served with a roasted chili sauce, I enjoyed a few of these chaps with the Yardstick 2011 Pinot Noir. 

We found a spot in the corner and the prawn-toast guy (God bless him) made regular visits to our locale. He served us well through the speeches. I had to laugh when my brother spoke because he must be one the few people in the world who can geek out about varieties of grapes. 

I guess that’s what it’s all about though, that passion and dedicated exploration of things that fascinate you. It’s what makes this unique partnership so exciting.

                                       

The concept is simple. A chef and a winemaker join forces to pair good food up with outstanding new blends of wine. Sunday’s launch was an occasion that celebrated indulging in simple pleasures: fine company; happy families and a smorgasbord of tastes.

After disappearing for a while, my husband (damn I love him) returned with plates of grilled entrecôte and fries, served with a truffled hollandaise sauce. I paired these doozies up with a not-so-petite glass of SHAZAM! Adam and Pete’s answer to a Syrah heavy blend with touches of Grenache, Mourvedre and floral Viognier. 

As I was trying to contain the inappropriate noises of pleasure that were escaping my lips, Adam approached with a gazelle-like creature who turned out to be the deputy editor of House and Leisure. I was wiping hollandaise sauce from my chin when he introduced me with a chortle: “This is my sister. Bless her, she came for the food”. This elegant woman took pity on me as I tried to become one with the couch, wishing my alter ego would stride confidently though the doorway with a winning smile and a leather-bound portfolio of my work. Aye me.

It took me another bolstering glass of SHAZAM! To recover from that moment of shame. Not one to be deterred for very long, I found solace in a wee plate of waterblommetjie and mushroom risotto. This dish was superb. I switched back to white but went with Ka-POW! - my firm favourite. Adam’s artful use of Chardonnay and Viognier showcases a delicate Chenin blanc base. Interestingly, this wine is partly barrel fermented - this is possibly why I like it. I have a thing for the subtle spicy characters of barrel fermented wine.

Even though I was full I couldn't help nibbling from my husband’s bowl. The Cape fish stew was accompanied by saffron pap and of course there had to be wine so I topped up, this time with KABOOM! It’s a blend of the “Bordeaux 5” and while it’s more robust than say, the Yardskick Pinot Noirs, it was remarkably delicious between morsels of this inspiring seafood dish.

To be honest, by this time I was a bit unsteady on the old pins and after this it all becomes a blur. Single frames from my memory include: a monstrous vat of Brewers & Union beers nestled in ice [egad]; Grappa with coffee and Truffles [yeep]. Other frames show images of a straw castle laid to waste as children returned to the warm laps of their replenished parents. And rain.

Thanks guys, you are magnificent.

Hic’

Photo by Wine Gems

Dredd 3D

Yes folks, this is how you do it. 

Dredd 3D is nigh on perfect. Alex Garland (Google him and then bask in his reflected glory; the man wrote Sunshine ffs) took on a potentially hazardous mantle when he wrote the screenplay for this adaptation. 

One slip-up and he would be hounded by Comic-Book-Guy types for years to come. “Worst comic book movie ever,” they would say, snidely pointing their hot-dogs at him. I reckon he’s safe. Right now those would-be hot-dog pointers are weeping into their Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back pillow cases. Grateful tears. 

Comicy folks are a snippy crowd at best. If, in terms of story, there’s a hole to poke, then a-poking they will go. Where a long-running publication like 2000AD is concerned, fanboys and girls will no doubt find things to deride, but on the whole folks, ON THE WHOLE, I don’t know what the wizards who conjured up this blood-a-polooza could have done better. 

True fans of Judge Dredd were particularly hurt by Sly Stallone’s lack-lustre portrayal of the man himself. I bet that when he watched this movie he was all like, “Ahhhhhhhh...” as a light went on somewhere in the dark recesses of his noggin.

New Zealander Karl Urban is no stranger to action and sci-fi movies. Even though he spoke some patriotic nonsense about the All Blacks in last night’s premier, I have to admit that the lower half of his face did a superb job on screen. Those classic one-liners and that trade-mark clenched jaw were spot on. He even managed to make his chin frown.

Oh sure the story has weak points. It’s pretty far-fetched, but you know what guys, if you could commit  regular Saturday mornings any time from the mid 1990's to collective sessions of Magic: The Gathering or Dungeons and Dragons you can suck this one up. Sit down and have a hot-dog.

The 1995 Judge Dredd had a wussie Janet-Jackson vs KY feel about it, but this year the grading is marvellous. The costumes show actual wear and tear, and that nasty hopeless feeling that you got from the black and white comic pages is right up there. Moreover this sucker was made for 3D. I'm not a big fan of what I feel is a gimmicky advancement in cinema, but Dredd 3D outstrips Avatar in terms of visual chicka-bow-bow.

Ooh ooh, Cersei Lannister?! Lena Headey must have one hell of a man at her side in the real world. Playing two repugnant women in as many years takes (net) balls of steel. She is outstanding in her truly terrifying portrayal of Mama. 

Anderson. Oh PSI Judge Anderson was just the business. Olivia Thirlby successfully balanced the rookie deer-with-a-semi-automatic-weapon-in-the-headlights role with a dangerous soupçon of “I’ll mind-love you to death” that will no doubt make her a hit with the hot-dog guys.

Other things I can gush about:

It’s one of the finest, tightest and most impressive pieces of international cinema to come out of South Africa. It’s also the first mega-movie to be shot in our own Cape Town Film Studios. The sets that were made there are flipping spectacular.

A number of SA actors had roles in the film and a large whack of the crew, above and below the line, were also from our very own land of love and vexation. Dredd 3D made good use of our outstanding film workers and their expertise. Check the credits. 

Also, true to the comics, this is a gorgy, a gore-gasbord if you will. Which is to say unless you’ve been on call in the emergency ward on a Saturday night in Lavender Hill, you haven’t seen violent destruction of the human body quite like this before. 

I’d give it two thumbs up but I’m afraid of my thumbs. So I’ll whistle my appreciation in ominous tones instead. 

Go see it.

Ps - hot-dog guys, I've got nothing but love for you. You were my only friends in high school.

Dr. Indonya's Original African Bangalala Brooks™

I gave my beloved hub a pair of these for Christmas:

What is so great about these, you foolishly ask? Stop flailing your hands about in despair, sit down and pay attention. Besides the magnificent fabric in which your loved one's junk will be ensconced,  it's the packaging they came in that will make you happy.

Proudly South African, and available at Big Blue, these Bangalala Brooks come with added mojo. The different designs are supposed to imbue the wearer with such fantastical good fortune as "romantic attraction", "extreme good looks, muscles, a man's beard" and, my personal favourite, the ability to "forget prison".

They even include endorsements by Superman, Mr Jay Zuma and Richard Branson. A Mr Tshepo "Hummerman' Modiso had this to say: "Bangalala Brooks gave me the confidence to change my life forever. I own a fleet of Hummers and know every celebrity by first name basis..."

Unbelievable!

The ones seen above are "THE STRONG ONE - The Strongest Mix". Totes want to collect them all.

Go here to see the other natty designs: http://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.10150384349395790.614689.282513915789&type=1